Life & Death

Where there is life, there is also death...

I frequent the Knot daily and today we found out that a fellow "knottie" lost her husband this past Friday. It came as a shock to me, along with every girl on my board when we read the post. I didn't realize how risky this surgery was for Cedrick. He had battled cancer in the past and this surgery was to remove a tumor off his back. I can't imagine what dear Fanny must be going through right now, losing her friend and husband. I hope that she finds peace and comfort from her memories with Cedrick. I hope she finds comfort and the support from all of her loved ones. My thoughts are with her and her family during this difficult time.

Today has been a tough day, a day where I've found myself tearing up and/or crying all of a sudden. So I thought typing this post would help me to get it all out, all of my thoughts, all of my fears.

Life is precious, each breath we take is a gift. It seems to resonate more and more when I lose someone close to me or know of someone who has passed.

I'm afraid of what comes after death. What happens? I guess everyone has their beliefs about life after death, depending on their religious beliefs. Do I just cease to exist? Do I go to heaven, where I will wait for my loved ones? Do I come back as something/someone else, into another life? These are the questions that go through my head some nights, as I lay in bed wide awake.

I experienced death at a young age. When I was 4 years old my maternal grandfather passed away and 4 years later I lost my maternal grandmother. Both were around 65 years of age, so young. I was so very close to my maternal grandparents, we also shared the same lot with them. When my grandfather was sick and had to spend the majority of his time in the hospital, it became my home away from home. And when I was a child I would spend most of the day with my grandmother while my mother was at work. It was difficult for me to go from having my grandparents always there, to suddenly them not being there.

Another extremely difficult death I had to cope with was the death of my nephew when I was a Freshman in high school, he was just short of 15 months. This was the hardest death of a loved one I've ever had to face, so far. He was so young, so innocent, helpless and I know at that time I questioned my faith in God. How could he take someone so young? How could he let this happen? Why not take someone who has hurt others, someone who has killed another? But after many years I eventually came to realize and accept that it wasn't God who took him, it was an infection caused by his heart surgeries.

Life is too short indeed. Cherish every moment with your loved ones. Don't fret the little things in life. Examine what is important in your life. Laugh often, Love freely, and Live your life to the fullest.