Friday, October 22, 2010
I don't have many friends. Growing up I never had a lot of friends.
I had a couple of close girlfriends and I was a girl who had more guy friends than girlfriends.
While planning our wedding I met a lot of wonderful girls online. I have become extremely close to some and one day I hope to meet and become close to more of my lovely friends (you know who you are my lovely blog followers!). You girls are not "online friends", you are simply my friends.
I've known these ladies (Janine, Lisa, Amber, Dani & Shelby) for over 3 years, but had never met them in person. We've become close and they are the ones I immediately go to when I'm happy, sad, need support or when I just need a virtual ((HUG)). They are just as lovely and loveable in person as they are online. It's not fair that we live so far apart, but I'm extremely lucky to have them in my life.
Our trip to Chicago was fabulous and I can't wait to see this group of ladies again in the future!
"As people grow up, they realize it becomes less important to have more friends, and more important to have real ones."
Friday, October 15, 2010
October 15 is National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day
♥ Please take a moment today to remember those who hold their babies in their hearts and not their arms.
Anger, Frustration, Confusion, Fear, Grief are all feelings I have dealt with in the past 6 months.
The loss of a pregnancy is never easy. The loss of 2 pregnancies in 6 months is painful.
After 14 years together Dan and I began TTC (trying to conceive) in April.
We found out we were pregnant on May 16th. We were thrilled.
I calculated that I was 5 weeks pregnant and we scheduled our 1st ultrasound for June 1st when I'd be 7 weeks and 2 days. I remember June 1st like it was yesterday. I was both nervous and excited. As the ultrasound was being performed I remember the nurse's facial expression. She wasn't smiling like she had been just a few minutes before. She was looking really closely at the monitor and I could tell something was wrong. She didn't like what she was seeing or rather what she was not seeing. Our baby had no heartbeat. I can still hear the words, "Oh I'm so sorry, but I don't see a heartbeat". We were shocked, then the tears came. What? This isn't supposed to happen. N
On October 3rd we found out we were pregnant again. I calculated that I was 4 weeks and 2 days. We were so excited.
3 days later I started spotting and then bleeding. I tried not to freak out, but having gone through a loss you can't help but worry. I think this pregnancy was a chemical pregnancy. Thinking back I should not have tested early and should have waited to test until after my period had been late, but I did test early and it read PREGNANT so I still went through some pain and crying.
Questions flood my mind with why this happens and whether we will be able to have a baby of our own. I want nothing more than to have a baby with Dan, but for some reason we are unable to have a baby of our own we will happily adopt.